Why is Romance So Hard to Find?

We may have the LOVE statue, and we may be called the "City of Brotherly Love," but answering the question, "Where do you find romance in the Philadelphia area?" is not easy.

The difficulty in answering the question may be, at least in part, due to how we, as natives of the area, tend to portray ourselves to others, whether they be friends, neighbors, co-workers, or folks we just meet on the street.

While quite friendly and helpful to strangers, as those who attended last year's Republican National Convention can attest, Philadelphians as a whole tend to be very private people, even with those they consider good friends. In many areas of the city and surrounding counties it's not uncommon for folks to have no real contact with their neighbors.

Maybe it's in part our Quaker roots or for many their strict parochial school education, (Philadelphia remains a predominantly Roman Catholic city with the largest parochial school system in the nation), but most area folks value their privacy above almost everything else other than their families.

For the most part, long gone are the days when folks spent considerable time socializing with the people next door. The two income family and hi-speed, hi-tech society of the later half of the twentieth century have too often tended to make work one's primary place of residency and one's home very much their castle, insulated and isolated from the rest of the world. In this respect Philadelphia is probably not much different from other places in the country.

Even in the Italian American neighborhoods of South Philadelphia and in predominantly black West Philadelphia, areas well known for their sense of community and neighborhood, more families are leaving to live in the Pennsylvania and South Jersey suburbs where they can put some distance between themselves and their next door neighbor. While still a city of strong ethnic neighborhoods, many of those neighborhood boundaries have begun to disappear and with that many of the ties to one's roots.

Despite the difficulties, people in Philadelphia do find romance. They do date. They do fall in love and they do get married. A surprising number of couples seem to be people who have known each other since childhood or, more often, secondary school. Many Philadelphians do indeed marry their high school sweethearts.

Despite the inherent difficulties and occasional ramifications, romance often blooms in the workplace. Church groups, civic associations, and social clubs all are places where people meet people. The bar and club scene is alive and well in the area and is another source for that first encounter.

Meeting people, however difficult it may be, is only part of the problem, however. Then what? It's difficult to find privacy in groups of friends or especially at work. After a while bars and clubs can get pretty boring. So where can you go in the Philadelphia area that is conducive to building a relationship? Even if you're already committed to someone or married, where you can go to share some romantic moments?